Thursday, 26 August 2010
I'm sitting in a chalet in West Wales chilling out, I'm listening to some old music on my old laptop which my son brought with him(I didn't believe they would have internet here lol!). It's taking me back to the time I was pregnant with my first little girl, when I was still playing in a band. I did my last gig about a week before she was born with my bass guitar balanced on top of my huge belly. It's crazy to think back to how easy I found being pregnant back then, now I struggle with removing myself from the sofa and I'm only 18 weeks. I also remember doing this gig with a guy who never wore shoes on stage, he was one of those people who just ooze coolness and I remember feeling like a right idiot next to him. He was telling us about this song he wrote which was about this time he saw a clown performing with an old overcoat, making the coat look like a real person, it looked just like he was holding hands with it, dancing with it, falling in love and being rejected by it in the end and it was really sad and poignant. I loved the story of the song and I we swapped CD's and I put it on my laptop but I've not heard it for years. It's funny how I hear new meanings in song lyrics after everything that has happened in the last few years. I googled him and it looks like he's doing really really well, doing a tour thing with Orange and his songs were used on Grey's Anatomy. Pretty cool, but I'm still always slightly jealous of people we used to do gigs with who have done really well lol! Man, last month I found out my old band just supported Jace Everette (who does the awesome song at the beginning of True Blood) and I was just gutted I was not there for it! I'm going to jam with a guy from a band we used to know in Swansea soon, with a view to doing some open mic nights or something. I've got itchy feet to get back on the stage lol!
(Extract of)Jont Whittington- When The Time Comes
When the time comes you'll be screaming in your sleep,
when the times comes you'll be driven in too deep,
when the time comes for you to make your stand,
I tell you this,
I hope you're holding real hand
I hope your holding a real hand
Do you understand the rules of the game,
you can win you can lose,
but there's no forgetting,
when the time comes
Thursday, 19 August 2010
My house is currently in a state of utter destruction right now, as we are getting the electrics in the kitchen done. They are only half finished as I have to get a plasterer to finish plastering before I can get the sockets actually switched on...this is something I hadn't got to grips with and I can't find a plasterer who can come before October :S I do have another guy coming tomorrow for a quote so hopefully he can do it a bit sooner. The electrician also helpfully informed me after doing all the testing that in fact the whole house really needs rewiring, great! EVERYTHING is covered in a fine layer of dust and all the kitchen and hallway stuff is piled high in the living room. I really should be like getting up off my butt and cleaning things like a normal adult would do, but I have a cold and I'm burrowed under the mess in a little den on the sofa with a pile of tissues and can't quite motivate myself to do anything. I'm getting distracted by silly videos especially, I'm like...hmmm really should actually get some work done today ...OMG THIS VIDEO *JOY*
We saw this vid at Amecon and it's so random, seriously WTF lol!! Ahh I love it! We are all singing SMOKEY JET! at every available opportunity :D
Wednesday, 18 August 2010
After an awesome weekend of not worrying about baby stuff, stage fright is a very effective method of making sure you do not have time to worry about anything else, I am back to my usual worrying self. Mostly I am seriously not looking forward to my next scan, mostly as it's going to be in THE "scan room of death" from last September. I'm imagining me freaking out and crying ect, which is what I do every time I go to the hospital anyway so I suppose they are used to me by now. But I could pay for the private version instead and miss out the wonderful joys of the room of terror. Trouble is I'm broke and can't really justify it..but then again maybe this is one of those things that credit cards were invented for. I dunno?
I've bought myself a ready packed hospital bag from Ebay, as I'm paranoid that I'm going to need it soon. I felt bad as the seller usually has it with all the new baby stuff in it too and I asked her to take it all out, which made her all upset, and then I felt like a fraud as everything is actually ok at the moment. Anyway it is a very smexy black and white polkadot bag with red trim with everything I'll need, and it's worked out cheaper than buying everything individually (link here). So if I'm going down..I'll at least be going down in style!
It's funny how even thinking about buying things is such a big deal this time. Everything is like, hmmm would this actually be useful in the event of a dead baby. I have all the premature baby clothing websites ready to roll in my bookmarks as if anything happens this time I really want some actual baby clothes instead of just a pouch or the acrylic hand knit stuff that looks like a toilet roll holder (not that I didn't appreciate those from the hospital last time, just not what I would have chosen) anyway. I have been actually attempting to learn to knit and I have made some little booties and some mittens, but they are newborn size and are currently on DD's dolls as I did not want them to be one of those "made for the baby" things that I'll be all upset about. I may try and knit some mini mini size stuff just in case, which I can always donate to the hospital in the event of everything going ok. If anyone knows any nice modern, easy (like easy enough for idiot knittings noobs) knitting patterns in prem baby size going free on the net somewhere send me the links :D
Monday, 16 August 2010
Amecon was awesome!! :D I was nearly hugged to death in my Toroto costume, I spent the whole of Saturday wearing it and it wasn't quite as bad as I imagined it would be except it took ten times as long to go anywhere as I kept get asked for photos..hehe :D I felt all famous and then felt gutted on the Sunday as no one knew it was me that was Totoro! On the Sunday I took part in the Omake which is basically a bunch of random stage performances. I decided to do a cool song from an anime called Excel Sage..which has nothing to do with Totoro at all, but I couldn't afford another costume and I was all "omg I look so fat" so I just wore my Totoro costume on stage. The cunning plan was to use my friends mobile phone with the lyrics on, as Japanese is a bitch to learn, even learning to sing it with the words in front of me took a whole week lol! Last year my cunning plan of having the lyrics on paper stuck inside my mask was foiled as once the stage lights were on it is totally pitch black inside the mask so that was an epic fail! This year I would not get caught out, oh no...the phone trick was going to work for sure. I was paranoid and kept checking it was working through the whole time we were waiting to go on stage, I must have unlocked that phone like 50 times. Of course THE second I am about to walk up on stage the phone locks in an extra special way the suddenly cannot be unlocked. I seriously do not know the lyrics well enough to sing it without them. So naturally I have a total freak out, I'm like HELLLLP who knows how to unlock a blackberry OMG OMG OMG OMG!! ARGHHH!!
Luckily they put the next person up on stage and by a miracle I find the stupid extra button, carefully hidden on top of the phone that unlocks it. I was a nervous wreck by then and shaking like a leaf, luckily I was happily covered up under the costume and didn't mess up the song half as bad as I though I would. But still, lesson learned....never. ever. go. on. stage. if you dont know the dammed lyrics!!! I nearly had a heart attack :S
I also partied hard at the disco on the Friday night, which is impressive as I am strictly in bed by 9pm at home lol! We had all our bags piled up in the middle of our dancing circle we had going on (they give you these cool free cotton bags at the con) My OH decides that he is the Conga King and jumps in. On the second pass around, with everyone is carefully avoiding our bags, but no, the Conga King does not have the time nor the sense to avoid the bags, he goes through the middle dammit! Of course the whole rest of the line follows the Conga King straight through the bags too! There are people falling and tripping everywhere and our bags are totally obliterated. Facepalm!
Friday, 13 August 2010
With one day to spare I finally got Totoro finished! I'm actually pretty pleased with how he turned out as two days ago he looked more like that scary bunny out of Donnie Darko lol! I also had a panic on as there is a ball on the last evening and of course nothing I own for this sort of thing will fit around my already enormous belly so I rustled up a 3 tier ruffled black and white bustle, which ties around, and appliqued it with red hearts. I can still fit into the petticoat from the wedding so I'll just add this and will hopefully look all Tim Burton awesomeness or at the very least I'll look as if I've made the effort. I also made a skirt and bustle for my friend too so at least I won't look like an idiot on my own. Although I was really jealous of how it looked with her corset on lol! I tried to make a cool pair of steampunk style spats too but I made them to fit over the boots then forgot that I would actually have to be able to put my feet in the boots as well. I know they are usually button fastening but I thought I'd be clever and miss out that whole step so...back to the drawing board for me! We've got to leave this evening about 6 and I've not even started packing yet, eek! Best get to it!
Monday, 9 August 2010
I dreamt that I had the baby last night and it was the size of my palm and looked sorta like a little green lizard baby. It would go blue and stop breathing every time it went to sleep so I was trying to figure out how on earth I was going to manage a baby the would never sleep and I thought that if I went to sleep it would die as I couldn't find anyone to help me. I kept it tucked down my top in a blanket to keep it warm and was fretting about how on earth I was going to breastfeed such a tiny baby. Very strange indeed.
I had good housewifey intentions for today. As a rule I very rarely do ironing, only my hubby's work shirts get ironed as he does them himself. But I figured it would be a nice thing to have pristine clothes for once so dragged the ironing board out set the iron to go. The iron looked a bit dusty so I got a cloth to clean in and stuck my fingers right on the plate ...OMG OWWWWWWWWWW! My fingertips actually went crispy brown as I managed to burn them so bad. I knew there was a good reason for me not ironing....I'm too much of an idiot!!
Thursday, 5 August 2010
Everything is going pretty well pregnancy wise...I still feel pretty good, although I am honestly wishing I could just fit a catheter over night, I seriously got up about 15 times last night lol! Went for a glucose tolerance test on Monday and all was clear which is cool. But we have been having some serious cash flow issues, OH started a new job, and is moving from weekly pay to monthly and then there was a two week delay in starting,. Which means no cash coming in for 7 weeks, no pay until September and we have no savings to pay the mortgage, bills, food, petrol, school uniforms...zip. I was seriously starting to panic about how we were going to eat as the bills were going to take our overdraft to the limit. Plus my washing machine AND tumble dryer have just broken, GAH! I checked the bank this morning expecting to see the worst and lo and behold it was still in credit!! Amazingly tax credits had randomly given us a load of money they owed us, just enough to pay the bills and to afford grub for the rest of the month HELL YEHHHHHHH!!! I cannot believe our luck!! *happy happy happy joy joy joy*